STANDing UP^

I just feel super irritated with myself. and urghhhh. >:((((( Like basically, I was at this hawker centre for lunch.(I don't normally go there. I just went cos I had to get my passport and it was nearby) When I had bought my food,I  sat down at this table where the rest of my family had been waiting. It was like this bench/table thing like at our canteen. So then this old lady just came and sat next to me. I'll call her old lady A.She sat with leg facing out. (like when you sit to get a quick rest) I thought she just wanted to sit down maybe cos like she was really tired and stuff from walking . You know, the usual leg problems that older folk have. So I just sat there an ate my noodles. Then this hawker lady came( she was trying to clear the table).I'll call her old laby B Then, she was like asking the old lady to get out of her way. Then after that Old lady B was like taunting old lady A with that horrible tone that you'll recognize as bullying. She was like "you no money to buy food is it? You want me to give you 10 dollars? How about I go and pick up some food(from the table) for you to eat? You want?" All in hokkien(which I can understand fyi).Then, Old lady A just said nothing and just stood there while being mocked and taunted by Old lady B. And I just sat there and ate my noodles and did nothing. And I feel so mad at myself for doing nth. I mean idk the whole story. But I'm guessing Old Lady A prolly comes and sits down at the hawker centre everyday. Maybe she has no money to buy food and stuff so she just waits there for people to finish eating and eats their food. This thought already hurts me so bad. And I'm also guessing Old Lady B has this huge problem with that or sth. And that can probably be linked to some potential counselling-needed problem she has. Anyways, this whole thing just saddens me. Apart from the fact that there's all this poverty that I'm not normally exposed to( I mean like nowadays we're all so shielded and we don't really see all these stuff happening in front of us. And the possibility of it just really makes me feel useless and helpless. ), what I really couldn't stand was not doing anything at all. I mean like I AM SUCH A HYPOCRITE. Like I'm always saying "stand up for others in need","Oh we need to do some action and not just talk" And there I was eating my noodles watching this all happen. I feel like so bad. And then like afterwards I had like all these imaginary scenes in my mind on what ?I could have done and I just feel so sucky and stuff. And like I'm just like this horrible beast who did nth when I was given a chance to do sth. Like how terrible and cruel am I?

Okay, so after that like I saw this  middle-aged lady picking up cans. I know how terribly ignorant I sound but I always just had this impression that only older ppl do it. Working class ppl just get some job and stuff. So like yeah cultural shock there. And all this was next to this office building where \office workers(abt the same age)were just streaming out going for their lunch. They probably also go to the same hawker centre as above everyday and turned a blind eye like I did. I mean like great contrast there. You know these ppl in smart suits and stuff which are supposed to be so educated just do nth and pretend they don't see nothing .So like, does this prove that our education system is training us to be hypocrites or sth? 

After this whole "trip" there, I feel terrible. I feel bad for the Old folks there. I feel bad for the lifeless and cruel zomvies we are slowly turning to today. In general, I just feel bad.

Thanks for hearing me rant about how horrible a person I am. Good Bye.